Wow, haven't been bloggin' in a while. Too much has happened. It's important to do some reflecting, of course. Why do in the public? Well, it's simple. We're all here to inspire each other in a way. So here it is girls. Here are the things i've learnt in the last 24 hours, on a cruise ship, isolated from the rest of the world, in the middle of nowhere, out at sea.
These things are repeatedly appearing in love songs, poems, magazines too but we never seem to be able to stop history from repeating itself. For those who say they'll never fall in love (i.e. me, 7 months ago) you're in for a big surprise.
So here are a few things i've learnt:
- Expect the unexpected.
- If your women's intuition has been trying to tell you something, this is one important 'something'.
- You're the only one who can tell if you're being loved. There's no need to ask him "do you love me?"
-If it's not worth it, call it quits.
-There's no such thing as the 'one' Soul Mate. Anyone could be your soul mate. The only difference is how long you're willing to wait, how much you're both willing to be "soul mates".
-Never love someone and then stop loving yourself.
Being single is not a curse, it's a blessing. After all, "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all". So cheesy, but it's amazing how many people including my friends and I forget.
It's hard to wake up and see what you're doing to yourself when you're inside a relationship. I figured it's like being lost in a maze. You're trying to find the way out but because the stuff around you are so large, you can't see the escape route. By coming off the ground, getting up on a helicopter and looking down at the maze. Voila... you see the route right away. That takes less than 2 minutes but walking around inside the maze will probably take you nowhere, if not, further away from the exit.
Unfortunately, we can't be in two places at once. It's hard trying to work things out INSIDE the relationship, hoping the deep feelings you felt at the beginning can be rekindled. However stepping out and knowing that it's doomed prevents wasting time. Being lost inside a relationship, being too stubborn to get off the ground and watch the relationship unfold from a third person's point of view, makes us victims of the bad situations we put ourselves in.
On the bright side, I've grown and learned. Nothing is better than learning when you're vulnerable and in pain. The lessons are almost engraved in your heart. Sure, it hurts and Damn it, the pain is like repeated stabs in the heart for a period of 3 days but you will remember it. You will remember what it feels like loving someone who was physically there but never emotionally. And come on... we've had our share of unrequited love in high school, do you really still need more of that as an adult??
Love someone who loves you more than you love yourself. (Well... i might take that back because no one could ever love you more than you love yourself.)
Guys come and go but you will have to live with you for the rest of your life. Even if Mr Right comes along, he is not there to "complete you".
You ARE completed, silly. He's there to bring out the best in you. A bit like an upgrade...haha.. in computing terms.
For some reason, i feel like i can finally breathe again. The relationship wasn't choking me or anything like that. It's strange. You don't know how much you miss the relationship with yourself until you leave a tiring relationship and return to the person who matters the most- You.
the whole thing is like the art of fishing (even though i rarely go fishing).
Imagine you're a fisherman. You want that big catch. You go fishing and (woah) a huge fish takes the bait (equivalent to the stage when you and your man were head-over-heels in love with each other at the beginning). It's a huge catch. It's so big, you just HAVE to have this fish. It's far too big, far too heavy for your little boat but you want it because, in your head, this might be "the one!"
Obviously, like the many rules of Physics, the more you push (or pull in this case), the more it resists.
So here you are, pulling this huge fish, hoping to bring it home and feel "contented" with your catch while the big fish is trying to pull away from you. Tug, pull, tug pull....tug pull.. it lasts 6 months and a week. No one is happy, you're exhausted and so is the fish. Then, SNAP, the line breaks. Well... needless to say, you're not a happy camper. The line's broken, you're alone again. Wow... is it a relief or what? The fact you get to go searching for the perfect catch again; depressing but exciting at the same time.
Same theory. Maybe if you were on a helicopter, looking down at the sea your little boat is floating in, you'll see the many OTHER huge fishes that want your bait, that won't resist you, that will not be too big or too heavy for your boat. In fact, just right for your boat.
You probably know what any wise fisherman would do.
And don't worry about not being able to get that big catch. It's going to take a bloody long time but hey, you're not just fishing for nothing. With every fish, you get to experience something different. With every wrong fish you get a different story. A different story you get to tell girlfriends like me, who'll go "wow... this sounds familiar. I've been there too"
Phew*.. The lessons of life... both free of charge and memorable. What else could you possibly want?
Do go out and make mistakes. Go all out, make all sorts of mistakes. Fall hard, stand up again. Whatever you do, don't repeat your mistakes.
**For my buddies who are suffering in your relationship but love him too much to let go, i think you know who you are but you will not admit to it. Well, i love you too. Time to take that helicopter and see things from up here.
